Friday, November 13, 2009 04:08 a.m.

As I get older I am more confuse about the world. The more I learn ,the more I realize I know nothing.

I have been studying logic and arguments. People in everyday life usually speak in terms of arguments,but, the more I speak to people the more flaws I see in their reasoning. What seems to me to be a perfectly flaw reasoning to another makes sense.I rather be ignorant , know nothing than to know a little bit of something and over analyze.

My mom is someone I deem as unreasonable and illogical.Half the stuff she says gives me a migraine, it is rash , crude, and down right un-befitting of a mother.


Thursday, November 12, 2009 09:29 p.m. I am going to blog my GMAT journey now, and make flash cards for review .

I have come to the conclusion I have a very bohemian style.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009 03:51 p.m.

I have grown to feel a deep resentment towards Grandma.The fact of the matter is I am unable to handle her overly controlling attitude.I look forward to going away for my masters. It means I can move out and ease my financial burden. For my undergrad I have been away for these few years and coming home for breaks. I like that arrangement . I don't like being around my family too much because it is a very constraining feeling.

I feel that young adults should move out when given the chance because it presents a situation that requires responsibility, time management, and just basically growing up.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009 02:18 a.m.

My excuse to guys I don't like is that I am uninterested in a committed relationship, I don't think that that comment would be hurtful and it's very straight to the point.And for guys who ask for my number that I don't like I have a BF hahaha.... I have been thinking about ways to turn people down. I don't like to be in an awkward position when I don't know how to end it in a smooth less hurtful way.

So I've been studying the GMAT math portion, it is my weakest subject so I need to devote a lot of time into studying.So far I really like it! My foundations are getting better. Honestly, studying is tedious, and requires a lot of commitment and hard work. Sometimes I want to give up but I know that isn't an option.Suck it up right? Work hard , adversity makes you stronger. Gosh,I want to have this mentality all the time but there are moments when I just want to be lazy.

I have a job interview Wednesday. I really need a job so I want this badly. I have to save up for my master program! Ahh the life of a poor college student.


Sunday, November 8, 2009 01:01 a.m. I prefer to be ignorant to family problems. My brother really bothers me sometimes because he is just so damn slow at everything, like a sloth.

My life has been pretty interesting so far. I bumped into Ethan at a party. Well I was rather cold at times because I just honestly do not know how to act, but he didn't seem to notice. He is a pretty cool guy who is awkward at times. I wouldn't mind being good friends.


Monday, November 2, 2009 12:00 a.m. I'm cleaning my room. I need to keep things neat and clutter free. Maybe this will affect my attitude .

Work hard Jen,work hard!In school ,in life, in your studies , work hard


Monday, October 26, 2009 11:31 p.m. God, PLEASE find me a job. I am suffering from a severe case of money shortage.


Friday, October 23, 2009 07:00 p.m.

I'm dropping Ethan, the physical attraction isn't there. I don't feel anything beyond friendship. Added on that he is annoying the hell out of me.Shit, if I cringe seeing his face and don't like his name showing up on my phone, ionno what the hell is a better indicator than that.

Why does crap seem to bundle up for me?Nothing seems to be evenly space out.


Monday, October 19, 2009 08:56 p.m.

So Ethan and me had this fight about facial hair.Odd ? Yes

He thinks my fascination over Alexander Skarsgard is ridiculous because the man is too old and scruffy for me.Well I think he is acting like a jealous Bf who isn't my bf. He goes on and on about how he can grow facial hair blah blah and I insult him by saying he has too much of a kid face to pull off facial hair. I'm sorry , it was a little low because he got very angry at me.

Ugh it's frustrating! Our friendship , if it is even called that, is turning into childish bickering.


Monday, October 19, 2009 05:30 p.m. My throat hurts very much.I have a hard time speaking. Tomorrow is test day too,I am feeling very blah about it.


Sunday, October 18, 2009 03:56 a.m.

It's my birthday today , another year older

yesterday was an interesting day for me. I went on a date with Ethan to the wetlands and I thought it was the crappiest date I have ever had in my life. He wanted me to walk closer to the marshes to look at the birds, so we walked down this hill of trash, yes trash, all the crap seeping in from the ocean.We got near the muddy part and I sunk in, I literally could not pull my feet out of that shitty mud. I was not dress for the occasion, I was wearing flip flops and I had to pull them out , everything was a mess, my pants where filthy , my hands muddy , sweat was dripping off me.Just over all I wanted to go home right there and then.

But that wasn't the worse part, he got down on his knees and tried to clean my feet! I was like ugh I can do that myself. It's just to hella odd/weird to me.

I do appreciate his effort in trying really hard, but that's the problem, the boy is trying way too hard.He tries to hold my hand,give me sugar sweet complements, and you know what ? I feel so disgusted when he calls me cute ,like throwing up in my mouth disgusted. To me it's way to awkward.

I don't know... Everyone says give him another chance, but right now I see him as a friend.People keep laughing at me when I retell this story, but really it was not fun at all.


Monday, October 12, 2009 02:03 a.m.

Today was a crazy day. Amy calls at 10 am telling me they are on the way from L.A. to pick me up for the Jason Maraz concert in SD. I am thinking wtf isn't it a 6pm concert!?!?!?

WE had to go pick up Sandy in orange , head to SD, miss the exit to pick up Angie's friend. Ended up driving off to god knows where. Tournour wants Sonic's , and curses in bad luck in never being able to actually find the stores. We go to this craz/good ass taco join near the border on mexico. I eat the mango ice cream i love and have swear off because of the 10gram of fat. Ended up at mission beach playing in the water then hit up the concert.

The concert was a blast, dude can sing well. Go to this girl name Michelle's house. FUCk she lives in a mansion, I mean real to honest mansion off in the mountains in SD. There is a gate the opened, with a drive way up a hill, with a freaken fountain, imported cars, old ass instruments. Reminds me of a section of the Louvre.Bitch is rich!

Attempt to go to the yard house so angie can get her first legal drink at 21 - HAPPY B DAY ANGIE!- i got no clue where the local bars are at home 0_0


Friday, October 9, 2009 01:14 a.m.

Goals: Get my masters degree with a 3.6+ GPA
Score high on the GMAT to get scholarship money
Work for the IRS
Read more economist
Be a better writer


GOALS!! Ever since I worked my ass off to get into UCLA undergrad I started to lack motivation. Yes, I still got very good grades but not the best I could have done. Dennis said I lacked a goal , since my goal of getting into a good university was achieved I was burned out and goal-less. Now with new goals I should be right on track.


Wednesday, October 7, 2009 06:53 p.m.

I am in the process of rearranging my room.It's a trying taxing process.I need to get everything clean and organized before Monday.

Celeste is coming to visit from Nor Cal. I don't exactly want her to think I live like a slob.

It's really odd,back at school me and Julie had the neatest rooms,but once we get home our bedrooms looked cluttered and all over the place.


Tuesday, October 6, 2009 01:44 a.m. I am walking down memory lane right now. I remember when I was walking in Paris towards the Eiffel Tower for about the 3rd time that week. On the roads there are people who sell crepes , paintings, and peddlers. I was glancing at a picture someone drew as I was walking by. This man walks right next to me and ask if I spoke English. Instantly i jump into a very defensive mode ,because people on the streets are shady. I dealt with a lot of problems before.

I asked this man if he wanted money or something with a very suspicious face and he told me he wanted to draw me. I said ugh no and quickly walked away with him calling after me. Now that I think back on it i feel really faltered to be a muse to someone. I guess he saw something inspiring enough in my face to want to paint me.

Julia told me it was best to just walk away because they could just demand money for a painting later.


Friday, October 2, 2009 01:55 p.m.

My arm hurts like a BIAAACtHHHH!

Recap on life. I still don't have a job, obviously that college degree from UCLA didn't get me jack shit.That school is hard to get into, doesn't that count for anything ? well no....I been going out a lot and just enjoying life.

I hope to see Michelle and a couple of people in L.A. today and then PARTY TIME!

I saw hung the other day,dude is still skinny but I see ,dear I say a belly growing?


Thursday, October 1, 2009 07:08 p.m.

My eyes burn,damn you shitty weather.

Tomorrow, holy jim trail here I come


Friday, September 25, 2009 01:41 a.m. Find strength through adversity.Be a quitter no more.


Friday, September 18, 2009 12:22 a.m.

I want to eat ! a bake chicken & beef! I am so hungry right now .


Tuesday, September 15, 2009 11:46 p.m.

My family gives me a massive migraine.
agfrskjthSljv askjhalkvhslf adhasdhasdkjdhgasdsawefgbvkshg cqg fvbsdkhfg skfdldf gwo b;zsltg lai fgslkdfvhgkwhljxc g;laWgbvfljksegelizxvglqwgbf;hgjso;hdlerha;k nbdkjjfcsdjhljsezkjdxgbkja fbcLJSv

I can't put into words how horrible this day was.


Sunday, September 13, 2009 04:54 a.m. It's 5 in the fucking morning and I still can't sleep.

I been thinking my brother is an idiot who has been racking up a high credit card bill. If he want's to see himself with shitty credit than that's his business.He is starting to really piss me off with his inability to distinguish between wants and needs.


Friday, September 11, 2009 10:29 p.m.

I have no clue if my friends read my diary anymore since I don't have a comment box.

I haven't gone to any parties since school started.I guess I went to a lot because I felt like I needed to live a little.

I really like chicken pho with broccoli and tofu.Grandma says my taste is unconventional but there is something about the taste and texture of broccoli that makes my taste buds run in overdrive.

Another random thought, this guy on face book randomly message me telling me how cute he thinks I am and wants to go on a date. I'm thinking wow that's flattering because I like complements, but at the same time i am thinking facebook stalker...that site is a mekka for stalkers


Saturday, September 5, 2009 01:47 a.m.

I feel like a financial burden, even though I am the only one of my siblings that isn't racking up bills. Never the less i want to make money already!

I have a job interview in about a week. A little nervous but I can lather up that charm if necessary.In the mean time I should apply for a few more jobs.


Wednesday, September 2, 2009 11:46 p.m.

My brother keeps raving about this program called P90X. Apparently it suppose to make you super rip and now I find myself watching the video's and doing weight training for an hour.

I been thinking recently, when did Julie become such an eco freak?


Tuesday, September 1, 2009 03:09 a.m.

I been studying for my GMAT everyday now, and I will continue until my test in December.

The goal for the GMAT is to score in the 90% range so I can get a scholarship and have the opportunity to teach the prep classes which has a salary of about $60 and hour. Studying hard for some easy money jen!


Sunday, August 30, 2009 11:58 p.m.

I need to get myself hiking boots for next weeks 15 mile climb O.O


Saturday, August 29, 2009 03:23 a.m.

I just came back from Angie's house party. The cops came, everyone else drank too much, I didn't drink enough, Amy keep screaming penis in beer bong, so many drunk people making out... God what a night...


Friday, August 28, 2009 01:47 a.m.

Had a massive nose bleed where the blood dripped on my legs, hands , and the floor. It's hard to lay down because it gets into my mouth and I ended spitting out blood, and getting so disgusted I threw up in the process with blood dripping down my white tank.

Fuck


Tuesday, August 25, 2009 01:01 a.m.

I went frat hoping! Holy shit it was fun.

So I went to theta Chi , it was rather dull at first but the party picked up and then we danced a little. Try to go to another frat but that one was not letting people in unless we had a bro since the cops where right outside. Then went to A something , which was a really big nice house on top of the hill. But fuck damn did the rooms smell, it was in the basement, but the door guy was pretty cute. I didn't have a cal id so I just looked up at him and he let us in.

I keep hearing the song lets the good girls go bad da da de de... Over all I like my experience up as Berkly, I might come to party again .


Sunday, August 23, 2009 02:40 a.m.

I think I suffer from some type of insomnia. As usual it's almost 3 a.m. and I'm still on the computer.

I been debating whither or not I should move out and assume and role of independence,however, after consulting my brother I decided to crush the ideal and save money until I finish my masters degree.

So far I been going insane at home. I can't related to grandma in an affective way. Bottom line is my Vietnamese is at an elementary level ,it sounds like shit when I try to convey any type of complex argument, added on to the fact that I come off as condescending when I am angry. Blah ! hopefully the next few days in San Francisco will de-stress me.


Saturday, August 22, 2009 12:17 a.m.

I've gotten over applying to Stanford , mostly due to the fact that they don't have the program I want, now I want to go to Columbia instead. I spent 4 years of my college life in Ca, I want to see something different.

Putting that aside job searching is not good. I need to find work fast , I can't depend on family to support me. One , it's a pain to ask for money. Two, I don't want to be a burden in such a crappy economy. Three, it's just down right sad I can't find a fucking job.

On a different note I been studying for my GMAT and also I was thinking about that bitch from school who insulted me on facebook.So lets call her Cindy for the sake that this rant doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.

So Cindy was this rich girl who went to Harvard-Westlake. Apparently it's a rich private high school that cost over 20 k to attend a year. Furthermore , Cindy dished out 80 k for high school and another for college. Total debt accumulated is around 170K while I paid zippo for my free public high school education and landed myself a scholarship for college. So in your face Cindy! I hate your cheap ass , pyscho, creepy as hell mannerism guts!


Friday, August 21, 2009 12:36 a.m.
Break over, I need to rant.

SO I graduated college and now I am more lost than ever. I wished I had done so many things differently, such as finding more internships and taking up that job offer 2 years ago-FUCK.

Putting that aside, I been thinking a lot. I am not a good granddaughter , I think I have some serious anger management issues. I am impatient, rude, and down right ludicrous when I am angry. There are some people I am a little more patient too but once I get to a point I'll say anything to make someone fell horrible about themselves. I become this sarcastic, cruel, vicious person. Any flaw I see I'll attack head on. Ionno if this is some fucked up way of trying to protect myself but I need to get over this.

I've been down right pessimistic, I don't have much faith in many people and I have a hard time seeing relationship as long term. I just don't trust anyone fully.

I am a camera whore, I'm conceited, I hate to be wrong in any argument. I don't give a shit if someone I dislike feels bad. I like conflict , I'm petty and selfish. I exhibit all of the above traits at one time or another. I hate people who give me bull shit that doesn't make any sense.I hate excuses. I hate people who act weak and needy.I don't like to be talked back too. I have more aggression than the normal guy. I get piss off when people don't take me seriously.

Tomorrow I am setting a goal for myself to just shut up and think instead of throwing insults to the people I love- minus the regular bantering I have with my brother. Ahh that felt good to finally let out.


Wednesday, July 15, 2009 01:36 a.m.

It's time for a break...